haven’t slept well in the last four years, 31, cut me off at my 4th light beer,cuz hangovers man
that just isnt my thing, start to feel homicidal when I get migraines and I see the stupid sun shining
in through my window im just trying not puke, playin super Nintendo and all my friends got a
couple kids, so pre-occupied, every time their coming home they never stopping by, they hardly
even call unless its Sunday, we talk fantasy football, talk about mundane
all I gots a routine, and its hatin the world, I just eat, sleep, smoke a bunch and hang with my girl
but my girls got a ca-reer, a good job, a good year, a good way to look every day
and me, im over here, too unfocused to see it all clear, the glass is only half full, cuz I cant finish my beer


31 today; happy happy birthday, me
got to go to work empty, im a shell of me
just another asshole with a name tag
polo shirt on, everyday it’s the same act
31 today: happy happy birthday, me
found a couple gray hairs on my scalp you see,
apparently I cant enjoy a few vices
beer makes sick, so does anything Spicy

My co-worker called in sick, like holy shit,
this three days straight I had to cover shift
cuz her boyfriend dumped her and made her all sad,
“suck it up mother fucker!”
damn, I sound like my dad, life is anything but perfect,
im telling you now
im the babe ruth of bad days, colossus of clout,
all I want from this big worlds a little respect
spend my every work day straight chained to a desk
if theres one thing that high school, it fails to teach ya,
get a four year degree and still become a barista
cuz the job market sucks, underpaid are the teachers
its like no matter what, life is gonna defeat ya
you can be a grown man and they call you a stock boy
but you gotta pay the bills, think youre making the right choice
life is just like a birthday, I see it all clear
cuz just like the person it gets old with the years

31 today happy happy birthday me
got spend half my check on some banking fees
frusterated, automated my bill pay
“sorry mr. grooms”
shit ruined my whole day
31 today happy happy birthday me
another day, another dream that you cant achieve
think “damn, I should go to the bar”
then the calendar reminded me to service the car instead


Simple man, just meat and potatoes with generic diet soda
I aint conscious of labels, I fight my depression with addiction to cable
been at least 8 months since I ate the table
that’s embarrassing, sometimes I feel like im parroting
complaints and aggravations for the sake of entertainment
but im not…really wanna shut it all off
grow my beard and hair out, then I cut it all off
got a haggard ass smile and some busted up Van’s
got a back brace on and some calloused up hands
got a shit sleep pattern, and attitude planned
for the next fucking customer that’s taking a jab
Im 31 today, gotta cake, blow candles out
it’s a blazing inferno call the firehouse,
you’ll come to find that the older get
your gifts are simply age jokes and cologne sets

31 today, happy happy birthday me
Old spice gift set and some socks for me
goddamn man, you call this a gift
at least ill smell a little better when im taking your shit
31 today, happy happy birthday me
Migraines, advil, that’s the pair for me
headaches still invading my headspace
getting older every day, cant measure my long face