This track is about my life on the road after creating music for the Kansas City Chiefs. A lot of people simply knew me for that select couple of songs and would yell for them when I played actual live shows where football wasnt included. On top of that, I had alot of weird people messaging me with requests to play kids parties, to tailgate, for free tickets, for anything they could reach out and grab for themselves. When I declined to answer or politely declined, I was often belittled and ridiculed. This put a chip on my shoulder. As "Grooms & Katie" imploded I did 5 tours alone and all of them had openers in cities or on tour with me that I hated as people because of their bloated egos. Some treated me like absolute shit until they got back home and couldnt get on another tour or needed me to share their songs on facebook...only hitting me up then.
Basically this tune is just alot of pent up anger I had towards all my situations. People talk so easily about being in someone else shoes but couldnt walk a block of that mile in them. This is my fuck you to them and cry for help all rolled into one.
lyrics
Its been three damn years since a meaningful tour
got me putting on my face, watch me fill it with scorn
Let me play a couple dates, didn't practice for more
Let me seal my own fate and catch my foot in the door
I'll pry it open...watch me navigating my rifts
I guess that crazy is the person throwing merch in a ditch
I guess that lazy is a person when depression, it hits
I guess I missed another deadline and didn't write shit
I guess I am bipolar, never melting in the arctic
gotta start a couple fires and commit a little arson
gonna burn myself alive to prove a point
gotta resurrect the dead, gotta pick apart the brain thats in my head
cant replicate success, cant let these people burden me with stress
cant worry about these people who are thinking that I am less
Wisely is the time I invest, just a bleeding heart open
and I am venting my chest
Three damn years and this fire it burns
and it consumes, Smoke!
Breathing in the fumes, breathing in the doom
up all night wishing I was younger
wishing i was stronger
wishing that it didn't consume
Three years left passing with ease
and then there's me, Choke!
Hanging from the trees, dangle in the breeze
Waiting for my feet to touch the ground'
Wishing there was anyone to come and cut me down
"There goes the Chiefs rapper!"
Street clothes, rarely dapper
"Let me hit him up for tickets!"
"Let me hit him up for pictures!"
"Let me ask a bunch of idiotic questions!"
Yes, Ive got some real songs, emotional investments
Dont wanna play your twelve year old kids birthday party
Dont add me to a facebook group that youre starting
Dont wanna do no dumbass youtube commercials
Dont wanna do an interview on something controversial
Dont wanna do a single show without rehearsal
Cutting off my dead weight, choke it til its purple
try to speak my piece while you are yelling for "Tradition"
trust me man, im flattered and I am happy that you listen
But that was so long ago...got some blown up proportions
My life is not a joke or a team that youre supporting
I am just doing shit thats feeling more important
and the burden of my yesterdays is feeling so enormous
Three damn years and this fire it burns
and it consumes, Smoke!
Breathing in the fumes, breathing in the doom
up all night wishing I was younger
wishing i was stronger
wishing that it didn't consume
Three years left passing with ease
and then there's me, Choke!
Hanging from the trees, dangle in the breeze
Waiting for my feet to touch the ground'
Wishing there was anyone to come and cut me down
Financially, rap has fucking tapped me like a keg
Taking every extra dollar when it seems to come my way
It's like I shake a couple hands then they throw a little shade
until they're asking me to share their shit to get a couple plays
Egotistical, psycho babble, ramble on
Mind is changing, everything is thankless, forever feeling anxious
Deconstructing everything I've build
Gotta walk upon my feet and get the fuck up off these stilts
Ain't no thugs with their sideways guns, aint no gimmicks
Ain't no strippers in this verse just my homie in a hearse
and a piece of me still holding in my hurt
Barely stomached; my lungs are full of smoke
and my minds forever running
I hate this. I hate this person that ive been becoming
Never making moves, Ive never been a spider
But im brown and I'll recluse, then i'll bite you
Fangs exposed; Just thought i'd better let y'all know.
Three damn years and this fire it burns
and it consumes, Smoke!
Breathing in the fumes, breathing in the doom
up all night wishing I was younger
wishing i was stronger
wishing that it didn't consume
Three years left passing with ease
and then there's me, Choke!
Hanging from the trees, dangle in the breeze
Waiting for my feet to touch the ground'
Wishing there was anyone to come and cut me down
